


How far we'll go

by TeddyRegulus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/F, F/M, M/M, Smut, Suicide, but a little of smut cuz i don't know how to write smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:49:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeddyRegulus/pseuds/TeddyRegulus
Summary: Blaise Zabini is still a kid when he realizes he loves Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson.





	How far we'll go

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here is my first fic posted here! I apologize for my English, I'm french!

Blaise has known Draco since they were little kids. He knows when Draco tries to repress his tears through his cracked voice, he knows when Draco burst out a peal of laughter while talking about memories of his childhood, he knows when Draco exactly stops breathing because his father bought him what he wanted the most for Christmas. 

Draco’s father doesn’t like him much, but he needs his mother’s money, widow of a very rich man, in order to support his political ambition. Lucius is a man full of debts, and neither his mother’s nor Narcissa’s money can’t manage to completely finance his political campaigns. However, Narcissa, though she doesn’t appreciate his mother’s frivolity, still finds Blaise very pleasant and mostly, she doesn’t want Draco to be isolated from the rest of the magic world. 

Blaise has known Pansy since they started school. Pansy, she is a bit of a crybaby but also strongly arrogant, but Blaise reads through her soon enough, and behind her false tears and her deadly words hide a girl hurt by a father who left her and a mother who is neglecting her. 

Quickly, the three of them are a trio: nothing seems to break their bound. Neither the war that is happening outside nor the tension on Draco’s too much frail shoulders or Pansy’s rageful cries. Blaise is like the bridge between two islands, the first isle having blond hair and crying often in the toilets, while the second island has a feminine allure and looks very worried for her close friends.

Blaise is the one who knows how to communicate the best between them three, so he talks, talks and talks until all of them promise to never break apart.

Blaise still remembers the dance in their fourth year, and Pansy who didn’t know who to choose so she chose both. It had surprised more than one, but when you are Pansy Parkinson, you’re scared of nobody. Then, while coming back from the party, she kissed them both and left them wholly blushing. This first kiss was as sweet as candies, but yet, for Blaise, it still had an unfinished taste.

Then Blaise understands why during their fifth year after they played snowballs even if they don’t have the age anymore to play at this kind of game and that Draco is so anxious from something he can’t tell them yet. Pansy brings them to her room and there is nobody then it drifts. Well, drift maybe not because Blaise will never regret, even many years after. Draco kisses Blaise who kisses Pansy who kisses Pansy and their kisses are more passionate, their hands try to touch the two others’ bodies, and it’s so hot and warm. Now, Pansy takes off her top, cheeky, shameless and daring, then Blaise follows as quick as he can and Draco too but more shyly. 

It’s a bit like their first time and it sounds wonderful in Blaise’s mouth, and after that, they do it again many times. Blaise can’t stop smiling, he can’t when he holds Draco’s hand in his own and that Pansy’s embraces on them both warm his heart. 

But Draco, he is like the center of their relationship, and they’re sixteen, Pansy does prepare for him his favorite hot chocolate, it’s the way she shows she is sick worried about Draco. Blaise tries to make him play to some checkmates, and when Draco laughs it feels wrong because Pansy as Blaise can sense Draco forces himself to laugh, in order maybe to hope that the war isn’t starting now, that they are still kids. But they aren’t anymore, the three of them know it, even if it’s painful, and no matter how much Draco cries or turns thinner, not any of their words can help him. 

Yet, their relationship isn’t worse, it just shifts into one full of troubles and of the uncertainty of what to do at war. 

Then war is really there, Blaise spies on Draco that can’t do anything except hoping that all stops and Pansy watches them from afar, turning into pieces what’s left of them, and she cries and she shouts out their name but none of them hear her screams.

After the war, Pansy is angry with them, so she leaves and her bitter words aren’t only for others now. 

Draco is standing closer to Potter, and Blaise as Pansy see it as a betrayal, so it screams in Draco’s bedroom, and the blond tries to calm them, but the two others can feel in his voice that he is in love, but not with them anymore. It worsens the situation, Blaise knows Pansy feels even more abandoned so she screams louder and Draco pushes them away, they don’t talk for weeks until Draco comes back in their arms, barely holding his tears and his broken heart, because Potter, Potter without a family, will never choose a fallen kid over Ginny, oh the so furious yet gorgeous Ginny, Ginny who has a warm and loved home. 

But for Pansy, it’s too late, she can’t stand that another man in her life has left her, so she is mad and they scream even louder, but Draco and Blaise are so tired by the war, by what came after and is even worse, by the nightmares late at night. Pansy can’t understand, because she didn’t see innocents being tortured, she didn’t almost lose her life, she didn’t betray her friends as Blaise did with Draco, and maybe Blaise wonders that’s why Draco left them in the end, because he could not bear the look in Pansy’s eyes and the scars on Blaise’s body. But Blaise has already forgiven Draco because, without Pansy and him, he is nothing. He doesn’t know how to work without them, not when Pansy is the one to take care of him after each of his insomnias, and Draco being the only one that can truly understand his pain. 

Then, Blaise meets Theodore. Oh, he already knew him. Theodore, he is a lost kid in Slytherin, as brilliant as Draco but discreet, so discreet, but yet, Blaise notices him. Or more likely he saw his scars on his arms, his alcohol bottles on his bag, and his laughs that hide all the world misery. 

Blaise can’t save Draco, so it’s maybe why he tries so much to save Theodore, but it doesn’t work either. Theodore doesn’t want him to be close, but Blaise doesn’t give up until Theodore does. 

But Blaise doesn’t cry, because his mother taught him that crying lets others have power over you. 

No, instead, Blaise is mad at the world. He is for many years until it stops suddenly when he just sees at the same time Draco with his new family and Pansy with her husband. 

Yet, it’s like when they were fifteen because they all smile. And fuck, Blaise is still in love.


End file.
